cause this is BAD news.
balls balls.
I'm finally learning how to keep myself up everyday.
I'm learning how to stay from falling. For everyone.
I'm finally learning how to be the person I want to be while being the person I am
Or maybe I'm learning how to accept the person I am as the person I want to be.
The wind brushes you backwards
after 20 years you had hoped it would
Is it too late now or is it only getting dark out?
You say her name like one would (Evan!)
Read the Bible each night before drifting off to sleep--
To spring you heavenward
But what is it about her
that makes all your synapses go crazy inside your brain?
What is it that makes you complain to me?
You should be warned, flowers will change
And girls befriend snakes when they want their way
You should be told of Adam and Eve,
A girl will deceive if you give her and apple
Keep in mind like heavy drinks
She's hard to keep down
Will you regret saying it too much to her tonight?
When you wake up in shame, sweat beating off of your face,
Your stomach out of place, feel the cold tiles of the bathroom floor...
Could you want it anymore?
Could you want it anymore?
Could you want it anymore?
Could you want it anymore?
Could you want her anymore....?
I'm sorry your girlfriend broke up with you.
I'm sorry we lost touch.
I'm sorry I feel really creepy and obsessed with making you like me.
I'm sorry if i'm annoying.
I'm sorry for texting you and calling you.
I'm sorry if you think I party too much.
I feel really weird.
I want to hang out with you soon.
I want to kiss you.
You call me and its really awkward and random.
I'm just being myself but I'm not the same as I was when you liked me.
I wonder if you remember that.
You're the only person who's actually REALLY liked me.
But I've changed. Do you like me now?
"I'm trying to be brave 'cause when I'm brave other people feel brave but I feel like I'm heart is caving in."
Kimya Dawson.
Genius.
I want to hang out with Kimya. She honestly inspires me to be better.
I'm back to being the same old Shana.
Solid matter is a myth - the universe is made up of vibrations.
It's the pain that makes us strong
But sometimes it's just so hard to carry on
When you said that you don't care
When you say that you'll be there
Well, I wonder just how did things go so wrong
With everything we've had
Oh please tell me
And you know it's just so sad
But who's to blame?
I was mistaken
So who were you?
I thought I knew?
I guess I was mistaken
But I only wanted you
I was mistaken
So say goodbye
Don't tell me why
I guess I was mistaken
I know I can't run to you again
Cuz' you would only run away
I guess there's nothing I can do to make you stay
You said that you would never leave
A lie you told and I believed
And now you want to go and throw this all away
So what is happening here?
Oh please tell me
It's exactly as I feared
You're just the same, and
I was mistaken
So who were you?
I thought I knew?
I guess I was mistaken
But I only wanted you
I was mistaken
So say goodbye
Don't tell me why
I guess I was mistaken
As I blame myself again
Wondering what I did
You tell me that you still might care for me
You say you're just confused
But that's really no excuse
You don't get sympathy
Cuz' I don't need this mindtrip,
I must be myself
Must free myself from you
And all you put me through
I was mistaken
So who were you?
I thought I knew?
I guess I was mistaken
But I only wanted you
I was mistaken
So say goodbye
Don't tell me why
I guess I was mistaken
Cuz' I only wanted you
Yesterday went by so fast and was so random.
I didn't even care about anything yesterday.
I was really happy.
I am really happy.
I think all of us are happy inside but we don't realize it.
We all have the potential to feel the way I feel right now but we don't utilize it.
I used to see life as something I had to get through.
Now I don't see life as anything.
I just live it.
jealousy is a terrible color on me but we all saw this coming.
I strongly believe the amount of love you give should be directly proportional to the amount of love you take
I know I am done taking your love.
So I'm done giving you my love.
i finally have a worthy secret for postsecret.com
i'm very very excited.
but if you ain't giving
i'll get it somewhere else.
I don’t want to be rescued.
I don't want a knight in shining armor.
I’m not a princess or a queen.
"if you want to chill with me, it won't be in no palace."
all I want is for someone to FIGHT for me.
music is so clear. i know excatly what they're saying. life is so full even though mine is completely empty.
my thoughts are so real, i want to share them. i want to go outside but its zero degrees and all I have is a pair of stripped gloves and a 50 dollar sweater.
i want to shave my head. i want to start over completely and be reborn. hair is just hair. i want to redefine beauty. i want to prove i dont need my hair to be confident or beautiful. i would, i would right now if i was sober and if i thought my mother would ever look at me again. i really dont understand her deal but apparently she believes i would regret it really bad and hate myself. i think those decsions are up to me, not her.
whatevs.
theres too much pressure on my head.
i seriously need something more than this right now.
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